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Wake Up With The Giant!
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WAKE UP WITH THE GIANT WEIRD NEWS
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MORNING JOKES
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A small airplane had to make an emergency landing on the New Jersey turnpike yesterday. A fight broke out when Jersey Shore cast member Pauly D. accused the pilot of grazing his incredibly high, super-gelled up hair.
Speaking of the Jersey Shore, scientists say three Neanderthal teeth were found. Interestingly, they were all found in "The Situation's" mouth.
Today is Groundhog Day, and winter will continue or end depending on whether or not Phil the groundhog sees his shadow in Pennsylvania. Meanwhile in Los Angeles, Kirstie Alley will stay in or get out of bed depending on whether or not she sees a roast beef on the floor.
A new survey shows that Australians would rather give up sex, cars and friends than give up booze. Thankfully, they have given up on making bad Crocodile Dundee sequels.
It's Groundhog Day today, which means that if Punxsutawney Phil sees his shadow, there'll be six more week of winter. But if you just can't wait, Phil has already printed his prediction on a special tool commonly referred to as a calendar.
It's Groundhog Day today. Tiger Woods walked outside of his Mississippi sex rehab and saw his shadow, which means six more weeks of cold showers and thinking about Susan Boyle every time he gets aroused.
OJ Simpson and Nicole Brown Simpson would have celebrated their 25th anniversary today. I can't remember, is that the silver anniversary or the cutlery anniversary?
France is honoring Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor -- the stars of the upcoming film 'I Love You Philip Morris' -- by naming them knights in the National Order of Arts and Letters. They will be sent off to do battle with Don Rickles on behalf of their overlord and King...Jerry Lewis.
Miss Virginia, Caressa Cameron, was crowned the winner of the 2010 Miss America Pageant. It was the most excited any staff at a Ramada Inn has been in a long time.
Beyonce won a record 6 awards at Sunday night's Grammy Awards. Strangely, none of the 6 were for the scientists who created her.
95 Country Congratulates Our Birthday and Anniversary Winner for 2/4/09
Abigail Dillard
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